My Spouse Is in the Mood but I’m Not. What Should I Do?


How often should you and your spouse have sex

The answer:

As often as it takes for you both to feel satisfied— which, according to a 2015 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, is about once a week for most happily married couples.

Of course, you and your partner might have sex more often than this, which is great. Just know you don’t have to hold yourselves to the extreme standard of once-per-day lovemaking ad infinitum.

No matter what your preferred frequency is, you probably aren’t surprised to hear that having sex with your spouse is good for your marriage. A healthy amount of regular sexual intimacy—an amount that’s different for every couple—strengthens your bond and helps each of you feel more fulfilled and connected.

But what happens if you’re not in the mood when your spouse starts giving you those bedroom eyes? After all, you love your partner and want them to feel satisfied…but you may just be too exhausted, stressed, or distracted to play.

To be clear: Saying “no” is always an option. But it’s not the only option. Keep reading for five things you can try the next time your partner is feeling frisky and you’re not.

5 Things to Do When Your Partner Is in the Mood, and You Aren’t…

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