Managing Conflict

Exploring Defensiveness

What is Defensiveness? The third horsemen in the Four Horsemen is a common one: defensiveness, which is defined as self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood in an attempt to ward off a perceived attack. It is an unconscious and automatic response to perceived danger, whether or not it makes sense to …

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Building Trust through Generosity

Love – what we can learn from science and math Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. Corinthians 9:6-8 But …

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The Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic

While all couples need autonomy and closeness, many partners struggle with the pursuer-distancer dance and feel chronically dissatisfied with their degree of intimacy. When the pattern of pursuing and distancing becomes ingrained, the behavior of one partner provokes and maintains the behavior of the other. The post The Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic appeared first on The Gottman …

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The Four Horsemen: Stonewalling

The last, but certainly not least, of the Four Horsemen is stonewalling. The post The Four Horsemen: Stonewalling appeared first on The Gottman Institute.   To read the full article, click The Four Horsemen: Stonewalling.

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